First, you should really go make this and eat it, as soon as possible. It is amazing like the Mets.
Second, and unrelated to food, here is an interpersonal relations question. Last night Cufflinks and I were watching Road to Brazil and I used the word "goddamn" in conversation, as I occasionally do, possibly as a result of reading a lot of Salinger in my formative years. I try not to swear in front of Cufflinks because of his extreme religiousity, but I guess I don't think of what he referred to as "the G.D." as serious swearing. I guess this is because when I was younger and was considering incorporating swears into my vocabulary, my father told me that profanity was okay, but scatological swears were not.
Cufflinks said that he wasn't okay with "the G.D." and I apologized, but it rankled a bit. On the one hand, we are supposed to say when something bothers us so we can talk it out. This is a good policy that has been serving us fairly well, considering what an odd match we are, each of us finding all of the other's values anathema and appalling. So on that count, I am glad he said it bothered him, because now I will know not to do it again.
But on the other hand, I feel that Cufflinks should not be allowed to tell me what words I can and can't use. It feels a little infantilizing. Not to mention, now I'm worried that the other Batman-and-Robin-style non-swears I use in his presence, like "Holy cats!" might also be unacceptable. I don't know how I should react to this. My inclination is to say he can't tell me what to do, but I'll voluntarily refrain from using expressions that offend him - this I realize is not a consistent position. Thoughts?
(And if you're asking yourself why I keep the guy around, here's an example: he may have gotten us an invitation to a Kentucky Derby party somewhere down South a friend's house, where the women all wear big hats and where he will wear a seersucker suit if we go. Big hats! Seersucker! Mint juleps? I don't even know! The kid's all right, is what I'm sayin'.)
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4 comments:
i am a bad person to offer up an opinion on such a subject as this, but I think that you shouldn't use any expressions that make people visibly uncomfortable. Now, in my opinion, vocabulary is the only thing that is acceptable to alter to please another person. So, while Cufflinks may be able to request speech change, to prevent a tyrannical relationship, that should probably be the only thing about you that he can dictate.
Thanks for your input, kiddo. That sounds quite reasonable.
Instead of weighing in offensively on the main point, "The Road to Brazil"? That's not one I know, although it sounds like it would have potential.
Ah, swear words! I used to have a very Catholic friend who was deeply offended when she heard people around her use the name of Jesus as a swear word. She would turn around, afix them with an icy expression and ask, "Are you referring to Jesus Christ, religious fanatic of the first century and author of that great conundrum three equals one and one wquals three?" , and then she would turn away. there would be a silence which followed her after this, I can tell you.
the next time I see you you must let me tell you about the time your Dad was dragged along the pavement while caught by the bumper of a car and how he handled himself and his language in the hospital while they cleaned the wounds of that accident. It's a good story.
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